Firecracker 5K

Good Morning,
Yesterday officially began our racing season. Stacy, Stacie and I ran the Firecracker 5K in Shreveport, La. It was a nice easy run, not too many hills, but the sweltering heat made me want to die! :)

Before the race we were lucky enough to run into some friends, a former student of mine and my former boss - who just happened to be Stacy's HS principal. Mr. Patrick (the principal) has been a runner ever since I can remember. He and I talked at length when I worked for him about running - but I never quite caught the "bug."

 Yesterday, as I fell further and further behind my friends, I began to think that maybe I'm just not a runner. Maybe my desire to run was like a "bug" bite. I got the initial sting, scratched it and now it's gone….and that little seed of doubt was all the devil needed to get started ruining my day!

The women I run with are faithful GODly women. They rely on their faith to lead their decision making in their homes, lives and work. They keep me level headed and focused on HIM when I find my path starts curving away from HIS will for my life. They call me down when I am in need of GODly correction and always temper it with love and friendship. They are always there for me to weather the storms of life! They NEVER waiver in their love for me!! – They are my TRUE friends and sisters in Christ! I LOVE THEM!!

 That being said the old devil would like nothing more than to get his old stinky sneaker in between us and hinder the work we are trying to do for the glory of GOD’s kingdom. Yesterday- for a split second - he almost did! As I watched Stacy and Stacie jog on ahead without me I felt like a tire old 3rd wheel - you know the only person in the room "not" in on the joke! --As I crossed the finish line I was so disgusted with myself -- I completely forgot to ask The Stacy's how they did! I was completely self centered and un-Christ-like! We walked to our cars- them chatting - me in silence- feeling like a real loser! They talked about running this week at Stacy's - which I rarely get to do- because of my husband’s work and mine- and once again I felt like an outsider.

As I drove home I began reflecting (talking and crying to myself) and doing the one thing I knew to do to get Satan off my back; I prayed. I prayed that GOD would take away the self loathing I felt. I prayed that GOD would give me a spirit of joy for the accomplishments of others. I prayed that GOD would snuff out the ember of jealousy and competition that was beginning to take hold in me against my sisters in Christ. I prayed that GOD would remind me to be content in all my circumstances. And I prayed for direction on how this day could be used to witness to others.

It was about 20 miles from home that I began to feel better and realize - -if I was the one ahead you know who would be behind me cheering me on? The Stacy's! – If I was the one able to run every day and had millions of miles logged you know who would be happy and encouraging? The Stacy’s -- When I feel like I can only do 7 miles instead of 8 - you know who it is that graciously concedes to just do 7? The Stacy's!  When I have to stop and walk on the long races - you know who stops and walks with me (forgoing their own time) The Stacy's! --

OMG—what a heifer I was being!! I realized that as bad as I wanted to "feel sorry for myself"  no one else did- in fact- the people I tend to complain to the most (Stacy and Stacie) are my loudest cheerleaders! -- WOW-- That means they are either crazy or just really love me!

HUM-- since I know they are nowhere near as nuts as me -- I had to settle on that they love me! I also had to realize that 1) I have to train better to keep up and 2) I don't really love running as much as they do!
 After giving these two points some thought I came to a couple of conclusions. First, I have to be committed to what I've started. My training has to be more consistent and I have to learn to push myself when I'm running alone. When I become bored with the monotony of running I have to stop, regroup, do something else - but ultimately I have to keep adding miles!! I didn't start running because it was something I loved. I started running to relieve stress- to push myself to do something out of my comfort zone - to sacrifice my comfort for pain- and to accomplish something few have the courage to believe they can do. It is sport where success and failure are solely mine. AND most importantly, I wanted running to open doors to minister to others….for me running has done all those things and more.

 Secondly, I realized that not ONE TIME have the "Stacy's" or I defined ourselves as a running only team. The confinements I put on myself and the races I run are just that ---- MINE! -- I'm not ever going to be a real fast runner - because it bores me! However, I love the challenge and constant change that adventure racing offers. I want to succeed at something that is physically and mentally challenging for me each time I lace up my shoes; for me, running isn't going to be enough.

Finally - J - I have to be an encourager! –  and learn to accept encouragement from others. Let me tell you that my friends Stacy and Stacie are THE BOMB!! They are ultimately the reason I’ve kept running and the root of why Broken and Beautiful is what it is. Our prayer is that someone will read our words- know we are human- and be encouraged by our trials as wives, mothers, teachers and runners. That YOU will see yourself in us and know that with faith of mustard seed NO mountain is immovable!!

Paula